Marrying for Money: Views of Mothers & Daughters

Here’s the clip from the Tyra Banks Show that I mentioned in our discussion of Gilman, gender, and differential socialization. It features a group of moms and their young daughters discussing marriage, money and (sometimes) love.  Particularly interesting is the coverage of a “social experiment,” which looked to find out at what age these pre-teens (or “tweens”) start recognizing “men with money” and their emerging ideas about wealth and happiness.

Why, in this day and age, are many mothers still so intent on having their daughters “marry into money”?  How is it that such young girls already have a keen awareness of “men with money” and have developed close associations between wealth and happiness?

Or is this “marrying for love” vs. “marrying for money” dichotomy — the idea that we must make a choice between (irrational, passionate) love and (rational) material comfort/security — oversimplified?

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3 responses to “Marrying for Money: Views of Mothers & Daughters

  1. I think that yes many women have to make a choice between marrying for love or marrying for money or in better words for security. I think that just like there are women who chase money there are also men who chase money and those that like the easy way out in life may take advantages of certain situations. Now I disagree with marrying someone simply because they have a lot of money I think a women should marry some one equal in wealth or career at least someone with aspirations and motivated. no one wants a bumb, or a slacker and there should be some type of feeling not everyone can find mutual love because it is never going to be perfect,most of the time we are disappointed by who we fall for due to our expectations of the significant other in the relationship, but you can care enough for someone to grow with and eventually love. It depends on the persons priorities. If they choose one over the other I disagree with the mothers teaching their child to look at wealth at such a young age how can they think that their child can process such a concept at such a young age without confusion which can lead them to failure and heartbreak. I think young girl should be taught to be independent and successful and that way they can chose whoever they want in their live in hoping that they marry someone who will help their daughters grow and not bring them down.
    Then again a lot of these differences in values are because of family background and socioeconomic status maybe those moms that teach their daughter to marry for money didn’t have the finer things in life or the best education and must have felt short or stuck at some point in their life and out of despair they resorted to marrying for their well being instead of marrying for love.

  2. I’m not surprised about the mother’s mentality about money and marrying. It’s very unfortunate that these little girls won’t know the true value of love and maybe one day when they actually do get married, unfortunately will get married for the wrong reason. I do believe in teaching independence and marrying someone of good values and ethics but definitely not marrying someone for money.

  3. I can understand from a certain point of view that a mother would want her child to be in a marriage that doesn’t struggle financially. No parent wants to see their kids want/need for anything. But it’s really sad that these kids have these views at such a young age. I agree with the second mother that spoke, girls should be taught to be independent. If women are thinking that they have to rely on men to take care of them instead of trying to care of themselves they’re pretty much allowing gender inequalities to continue to exist.

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